teachable moment? ...i think not!ok, i really didn’t want to blog this…but he has risen again, and I don’t mean jesus! a while ago, i posted a blog about one of my girlfriend’s ex-husband “Dick”, and in case you don’t remember, please click here to familiarize yourself with the story. just recently, Dick had his children for the summer, and to say the least, he somehow managed to form his contractual bond. well....now that the kids are back home with their mom, 40 year-old Dick is trying to maintain a fatherly bond with his 14 yr old son. ...so Dick and his 29 yr-old girlfriend have a meeting of the minds & decide to text Dick's son to “go out and buy the new ja.y-z.blu.eprint cd and holla back and let daddy & girlfriend know what he thought”. now being a little old skool, but still of the urban tongue…i just know there had to be a teachable moment in that text, right? i mean what on earth would make two grown folks blow up a child's phone to go and purchase this cd with lyrics like this! what happened to father's revisiting their pasts & sharing stories that they've gathered to their sons in hopes that they will one day connect on a level of experience, honor & counsel. granted the son is 14, but there's a lot to be said about the word "influence". it comes from latin root word 'fluvio' meaning 'river' and 'fluere' meaning 'flow'. the words with this root are beautiful to say and hear, so shouldn't we be careful in our representation?
Question: Could it be that as a child, brutha Dick's wounds were so bad, that his only image of fatherhood is on this level OR is this a case of pure lack of patriarchal judgment?
...comments appreciated.
Labels: wut roe
posted by Khali at
24.9.09
8 Comments:
That's a hard one to answer but it seems that a 14 yr old is beyond the days of spankings. "Dick" may be trying to relate to his son in some way. He should buy the CD himself and listen to it with his son and interpret what the son hears and tell him what's truth and what's not. REALLY how can any of us relate to Jay-Z?? His life is totally different from ours. Bad judgement...Yes in a way. "Dick" could have related to his son in some other way..
nupespr84
I do not have any children of my own, but i am a "professional" uncle. This can be a teachable moment if handled correctly.
The child is obviously going to hear the cd sooner or later, so as a father, he could use the opportunity to show his child that music is just that...music. Teach the young man to look at what Jay Z has accomplished in real life... in business, he's a record exec. part owner of a sports team and runs several other businesses.
Show him that Jay Z only raps about things that people want to hear, he's selling a product. Teach him to always look below the surface, he's rapping about popping bottles of champagne and yachts...well how did he get those things? He worked hard and made smart business moves. Always stressing that the child can be just as successful with hard work and education.
Kid's are going to hear these types of songs, but with the proper guidance, they can see past the bling and flash and listen to it with "eduacated" ears
Funny... i misspelled "educated"...LOL
thnx "professional uncle", well said! i have no doubt that your fatherly skill set is on point! wish u could offer that advice to Dick, bcuz it is highly doubtful that he's on the same page....
...and to "nupes" comment. great idea on buying the cd for the son, which he coulda also used as sort of a segway into a father son conversation; therefore enhancing their relationship. however, its doubtful he had that in mind. lest i forget to mention...the daddy asked the son to go out and buy the cd...{the son with no job or money, mind you} so while the rest of us were downloading it off of someone's email - his big bank hank father (and girlfriend) were texting his son like he was one of his boys. enuf said.
thanks guys, k
spoken like a smart uncle. lol
Well here is my response. The guy is hurting from his childhood is one thing, but he is truly lost from my standpoint of what a father's role should be. He also has displaced anger. The anger towards his ex-wife and the lost of his kids. Often times when men get the short end of the stick in divorce they often loose focus, which is on the kids. I will pray for his guidance and healing!
Sincerely,
Freakshow!
Okay so here's my .25cents LOL. This father is LOST. he is 40 yrs old with a 29yr old girlfriend. he is in HER world trying to reach a son he is NOT close to. Ashamed of the one on one approach he used the generational language of both his girlfriend AND his son to communicate. (believe me girlfriend has been making him "young" again)
Teachable moment, the son will get it,even the girlfriend might but the father...he won't get it until he's a grandfather. Maybe.
He is still having such strong feelings of inadequacy that he needs and seeks out middle man/woman/cd to speak with his own flesh and blood. (SMH)
he needs parenting classes.
thank u peace! u said it best!!!
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