06 dec 09
#2 hindsight question
30 posts in 30 days...

Moment of Peace. Share an hour or a day or a week of solitude. What was the quality of your breath: The state of mind? How did you get there? ...as u can tell from my late hindsight postings, my moment of peace "ain't right now" (due to my 2nd day at my new job), however i thank god that i did indeed have moments of solitude during the year. one particular moment which has surprisingly lingered throughout my journey is during the second month of my layoff. you see...before the layoff, i was worried about things that had no real solutions, like "why someone's no longer in my life", "do i want them back", "will they want me back", "how come i can't earn more money", and finally..."50 ways to leave my job that i never even sought"!! ....then I LOST MY JOB!!! (boink!) i believe it took that cold splash of water to re-direct those barren thoughts, bcuz SUDDENLY, there was so much else to worry about that it pushed all non-essential thoughts completely out of my mind, leaving me with nothing but thoughts paved with possible solutions!!! the feeling of a huge useless fat ass monkey did flips OFF my back, leaving me with the quality of breath u feel when you realize (whew!) thank God that check didn't go through, or that sigh of release u feel when u find out she ain't pregnant (that's for the bruthas..tee hee), or better yet, the stillness u get...when you realize u jusssst made the cut off of yet another layoff....yeahhhh....that's the breath i breathe! ...a state of alrightness that after a year of strugglin', i'll take any day. ...so my state of mind? contentment. ...what's yours?